Escape
by LLamperouge
Summary: The Titans have disappeared quite some time ago with the help of the Scouting Legion and the Titan shifters. However, Mikasa's nightmares aren't over yet. Along with her adjustments on the new and safer world she is in, she can't quite differentiate reality from dreams. Are her dreams some kind of precaution?/ Levi x Mikasa /Jean x Mikasa
1. Accident

It was still dark when I woke up to the sound of an ambulance. I stood up and looked through the window to see what was happening outside. The accident was only 2 blocks away from our home and many people were crowding the area. In my curiosity, I sneaked out of my room and went to the area. As I was walking down the stairs, I saw my brother's bedroom door widely opened so I went there and checked if he was sleeping. As I turned on the lights, he was nowhere to be seen. I panicked a little. So I rushed out of his room and walked around the house to look for him. I can't find him.

_What am I panicking for? Maybe he's at the accident area.. _I ran outside and went to the crowd to find him. After a few minutes of finding him in the crowd, I still can't find him.

I was about to go back to the house and go to my parents' bedroom when I saw my parents standing there beside one of the victims' corpses. They were crying..

_No.. this can't b-be hap-p-en-ning... Not my bro—_My brother rushed into the crowd and comforted mom and dad. _Thank goodness… _In my relief that Eren is alive, I became confused.

_Why are they crying? I know we don't have relatives here in the neighborhood…Unless…_

With the thought of my relatives going here, I rushed to the police line and went to my parents.

"Mom? Dad? Are those our relatives?" Tears poured down on my face as I waited for their answer but they didn't answer.

"Eren? Are they…?" He cried harder at my question.

"Who are they..?" No one answers. "Who are they?! Why isn't anybody answering me?!"

To my irritation, I went closer to the corpses. I slowly grabbed the cloth covering one of the victims. I don't recognize him.. but he was badly hurt. So I went to the second victim, just like the first one, I don't know her. I let out a sigh of relief that they weren't my relatives but at the same time, I feel bad for those who were their relatives. I was about to comfort my family when I saw another corpse right beside the ambulance, I felt weird. So again, I went closer to the corpse beside the ambulance. I grabbed the cloth and raised it slowly… _I recognize her… _I looked more closely at her face. In my shock, I lost my balance and fell on the floor.

_That… is not…possible.. why… how… _I looked at my hands.. they are pale and my veins are showing. I looked up. My parents are nowhere to be seen. Even Eren… he is not here…

_Where have they gone?_ _Am I really…? _Someone shouted. And another one. Another one. Everyone is shouting. My ears are ringing. I closed my eyes and covered my ears. This is not real. This is not happening. This is—I remembered the face of the corpse. I breathe heavily.

"I am not dead." I claimed.

The crowd stood eerily quiet. I looked at them fiercely while heavily breathing. I noticed that one of people in the crowd was me. I looked in other directions, and I saw myself again. As I turned my head in every direction… all I see is myself.. They are whispering something. I can't hear it clearly until something cold whispered to me.

"You are dead." I panicked and stood up weakly.

_No… I'm not d-dead.. go away.. _

They are surrounding me. They are smiling while whispering those words to me. A cold hand grabbed my shoulder. It was Marco.

"B-but you d-died.. w-why.. are you here?" My teeth are chattering. I can't seem to unlock my eyes unto his.

"You… are… dead." The half of his body got jelly, as if he was paralyzed. One by one, his joints were torn off his body. Leaving him only half... just like how he died years ago.

I shouted and ran crying. I pushed through the crowd while covering my ears.

As I was running, I stopped at the sound of a chainsaw. I looked at every direction to see where it was coming from. When I was running backwards to the north, there I heard clearly the chainsaw. I froze. I faced north and there I saw the guy with a chainsaw, almost half a meter away from me.

_I can't move.. He's going to—_riiiiiiiiing.

_The school bell? Wait, what?_

I looked at my surroundings. It's 3:32 in the afternoon.

_So it was a dream…? Sigh.. Thank goodness.. I thought I was going to die._ I picked up my things and stood up the chair.

_So I was asleep the whole time I was in school? No one even bothered to wake me up… Didn't the teachers got mad..? _I left the thought when I was outside the classroom. The hallways are empty and quiet.

_It was only 5 minutes after the bell rang… and… it's…_ I looked at my watch.

_ "_It's… it's… my watch is kind of… distorted…I don't remember a time I have… dropped…it…_" __Or maybe I dropped it while I was sleeping in class… but… I wore it…everyday… _"It's kind of… wobbly… like… a jelly…" While walking down the hallway, I was startled at the sound of something familiar._ It was a sound of a chainsaw. _

_Chainsaw. _

I started to run. But as I run, the sound was getting closer so I took the other way. But still, it was getting closer no matter which direction I go. I was about to open the door to the Bio Lab when I bumped my head on the wall and everything became black.

* * *

A/N: This is my first time so i'm sorry if it's lame or what. Hahaha But please, please, please leave me a feedback about it. :( Thanks!


	2. Cries

_Everything is white… where am I..? _I sat up weakly. I glanced on my right and I see someone familiar lying down on the couch. I stood up and looked at him more closely. I was about to pat him on the shoulder when he woke up.

"Oh, uh s-sorry to wake you… up." _Why am I being nervous?_

"Mi-mikasa…" He jumped on me and hugged me. "Y-you're…"I don't know him but I think I have seen him somewhere. "Uh…sorry I-I… uh…" He let go of the hug and continued.

"No it's okay." I let out a heavy sigh.

"Uh…yeah… so if you're wondering where you are… You're in the school clinic." I became confused.

"School? Clinic?" He nods. "But… I don't… remember…"

"Ah yeah about that, I just found you inside the Bio Lab…so uh, you must have hit your head…" He points on my forehead. "…badly."

I touched my forehead and I felt a gauge wrapped around my head.

_Since when did I go to the Bio Lab? _

I heard again the sound of the chainsaw. I panicked and covered my ears and closed my eyes and I started shaking my head.

_No No… No. No! G-go away…_ I felt someone hold my arms. I cringe.

"H-hey mikasa! Get your grip together! H-hey!" The boy shouted nervously.

Breathing heavily, I passed out.

* * *

"Is she okay?" "Yes, she only lost her consciousness. Please call me if you have any problems, I'll just go and run errands outside. I might take some time away so here's my number." "Thank you very much." I wake up to the sound of their voices.

"Mikasa!" Oh, it's that boy again. _I wonder how he knows about me._ I carefully sat up. "How are you feeling?"

I smiled. "I'm fine, thanks."

Another voice. "Mikasa! I'm glad you're awake." She smiled at me. It's my mom. I hugged her.

"What happened, dear?" She asked worryingly.

"I don't…know. I don't under…stand it myself." My teeth are chattering.

"Tell me, what is it?"

"No… I just… can't." I said.

"If you insist, okay. If you're ready to say it, you can always come to me." My mother smiled. My nervousness went away even just a little bit.

"Uhm, thank you for looking after my daughter. Are you her friend?" She said addressing to the boy.

"Uh, no. I'm just… her classmate." He said.

My mom smiled and nods at his answer. "What's your name? I might as well thank you properly."

"Jean. My name's Jean Kirchstein." He half-smiled. _Oh yeah, I have to thank him properly too…_

"Thank y—" I cut my mom. "Thanks, Jean. But I don't think I see you in classroom, though. Haha." I continued.

"Ah… Haha..ha. You're welcome. Uhm… sorry but I have to go now. I'll just provide you some notes of the subjects you have missed today. Please rest."

"Ah! I want to thank you properly. If you don't mind, I want to treat you with something outside. Maybe, movie?"

"Ah… it's okay. Just dinner is okay. I must get going so… tomorrow night?"

"Yes, tomorrow. See you." I smiled at him. He nods goodbye.

* * *

I stayed in the school clinic until 5:34 pm in the afternoon and went home after that. Mom had something else to do at work so she went ahead. And here I am, all alone in the house with my dog, Chunk. Since I was all alone in the house, I locked all the doors and windows for safety. I went to the kitchen and got snacks for my movie marathon. It was already 8:16 pm. when the phone rang and got cut off in my movie marathon. I sat up and reached for the phone.

"Hello? Good evening, who's this?" I asked. No one answers.

"Hello?" I heard someone breathing heavily. "Hello? Is… Is.. everything fi—"

"Help! Help! Someone!" Someone shouted in the other line. I jumped on the couch out of shock. _I don't know what to do… _

"Help! He—"

"Uh.. uh… I'm s-sorry b-but you m-must have…"

"Help… hel—" I heard the voice sobbing.

Everything became worse when I heard it again. A chainsaw. I panicked.

"Help… help… ple—" The person on the other line begged.

_Mikasa, calm down, you have to help the person._ I breathed heavily and let out a very heavy and long sigh. _It's only a grass cutter, mikasa. It's only a grass—_

"He's c-coming! Please… He's gonna cut me… H-he is h-holding a ch-ch-chains-s-saw…p-please.. PLEA—" The line was cut off.

I dropped the phone. _I-I k-killed her…n-no…_ I heard the sound again. I screamed. I covered my ears and pounded my feet on the floor. _No! No! Stop!_ I breathed heavily.

I heard her cries again. I shook my head, refusing that what had happened was my fault. I became more calm. I lay down on the floor and curled myself and hugged my knees. I started to cry.

* * *

A/N: I "might" update everyday since it's already summer yay.


	3. Mikasa's Condition

What Mikasa is experiencing is neither a sickness nor a power. It is an effect from what she has ingested that was meant for someone else's benefit.

The story is 2 years after their victory from the titans. What she has ingested took effect on the first 3 months on the first year in two years and still continuing but it gets worse. On the first few months when its effect on Mikasa began, it was just merely lucid dreaming and recollections of the past. As time flew by, its effects became worse. It was more traumatic. It went to the point where she can't differentiate reality from dreams. In the story, she has been experiencing more extraordinary events in her life. This is just the beginning of the "worse to worst" effects of what she has ingested.

Everything in her life from now on is a dream, but where her nightmare ends, will become the reality.

Remember, this is just the start of her "worse to worst" effects.

* * *

A/N: This is only a general description about Mikasa's condition.

P.S: Please leave a review. Thanks!

P.S.S. Keep in mind, nightmares are different from dreams. Nightmares are more specified.


	4. Cruel Reality

"Mikasa!" "Mikasa! Wake up!" I heard a familiar voice. It's Eren's… I opened my eyes. His face was so close to mine.

_What the hell am I thinking about? He is my brother._ I stared at his eyes. _Yeah, my brother. And I'm his sister… just his… sister. _I felt tears leave my eyes. I smiled at him.

"I'm just…" And I closed my eyes and let the cruel truth drown me. Someone is shouting. My ears are ringing. I can't seem to hear anything clearly.

* * *

It's so soft, where am I, I wonder? I took a small turn…

_Bam!_

"Ouuuch. I hit my head again…stupid." I stood up, still feeling sleepy.

I took a good look at my room and asked myself, _How did I get here?_ Then I remembered my brother's face up close last night… My heart pounded faster than its usual speed. I shook my head hard enough to make me feel drowsy_._

_No, no… this is bad. I'm just his sister. _I kept those words repeating in my head until I felt worse about it.

_I never thought it would come to this. I am his sister and…_ _Why does it have to be my brother out of all guys in the world?_

And then a fact suddenly came into my mind_. I don't have any other guy friends besides my brother._ I let out a deep sigh.

I jumped back to my senses when I heard something very familiar. Something that frightens me most of the time. _It's the sound of the chainsaw._ I panicked. I started to breathe heavily. It's so loud. It's so near. I gazed at the window. I walked towards my bedroom window weakly. I let out a deep and heavy sigh of relief when I knew that it wasn't a chainsaw_._ It was just a_ grass cutter. _

_This whole chainsaw thing is literally making me mad. I have to get my grip together._

I tried catching my breath when "Mikasa!"

_Dag!_

"You almost gave me a heart attack, idiot! Approach me nicer, will you? Tch." I shouted at Eren.

He walked closer towards me and sat on my bed. "Yo mikasa? Mom wants me to remind you about your dinner date tonight with Sean. Hahaha!" He said teasingly.

I punched him. "It's not a date! And his name is not 'Sean!' It's 'Jean!'"

He just laughed and then there was an awkward moment of unusual silence between us. He started, "Hey, can I say something?"

I nodded. "Go ahead, what?"

He sat quietly thinking and then he said, "If you know you're doing something bad…or if it's something inappropriate…" He paused and let out a sigh. "…Please end it already. Whatever it is. I don't want you getting hurt." I sat quietly with him. Everything was silent. The silence became more frightening. _Why so sudden? __What was that supposed to mean? Did he knew about my fee— No. Please, no._ I don't want things to be so awkward between us. 

"Well, I better get going. Keep in mind what I have said, okay?" He pats my head and ruffled my hair and laughs.

I nod. "Yeah yeah, I get it. Go out now. Shoo." He stood up and I gazed on him while he was walking towards the door.

He said, "And don't forget your date with, Jean." He laughs.

"What the—It's not a date you du—argh! And I have have someone I like already! Keep that in mind!" I shouted.

He shouted back. "And it's Jean, right? Hahaha!" When he was already downstairs, I slammed my bedroom door. _Argh! If you only knew..._

I shook my head and lied down frustrated on my bed. I closed my eyes.

* * *

_Dag dag dag. _Someone was knocking on my door. A voice muttered, "Mikasa?" My door clicked open and I heard the voice again, "Oh my goodness. She is asleep." A short pause.

It's shaking… An earthquake? "Mikasa! It's already 6:07 pm. And Jean is waiting for you already!" I fluttered my eyes open and looked at my clock.

_Shoot! Argh, this is embarrassing_. I went to the bathroom, washed myself and wore decent clothes and brushed my hair neat. I rushed downstairs and on the living room, I spotted Jean sitting on the couch and I heard mom entertaining him with questions while he was waiting.

He looked at me when I was about to take the last step of the staircase. He cleared his throat. "Good Evening." He smiled at me. I opened my mouth and no words came out. _Come on, Mikasa, say something_.

"Uh… I-I'm sorry f-for being late…Ha…ha." I smiled at him embarrassingly.

"It's okay really." His smile slowly faded away.

"Ah so… let's get going, I guess?" I asked.

"Actually…" He looked at my mom and she nodded. "… Your mom approved or us to… have dinner here in your house instead of… outside."

"Oh… okay then, but…why here though?" I asked.

"I mean, you have been very tired lately and I think you're going through some stuff or…something like that." He explained.

I was surprised. Jean is a very gentle man. I'd probably take this chance to have a guy friend. "I see. Thank you…"

He took something from the table and smiled, "And I brought us some… good movies."

I grinned, "That's great, then."


	5. I Dreamt that I was Dreaming

Right after I had my dinner and movie marathon with Jean, I went up to my bedroom and lied down on my bed, tired. _Being with Jean was fun, I guess._ I thought about him.

_If I were to agree on what he asked to me earlier… maybe that could help me in forgetting my feelings towards my brother. Yeah, that may be it…_ Everything was fun today… it's like everything has been back to normal, especially after the… chainsaw accident… on the phone. I put my head under the pillow, trying to remove the chainsaw incident in my head.

_Maybe, everything was just a dream. I hope so… _I closed my eyes and everything faded away.

* * *

I see black. I see nothing else but myself standing in this black space. _Dag! Dag! Dag!_ I see smoke… I squinted my eyes to see clearer. I took a step and the scenery changed.

I was at the middle of the road. I looked everything around me. There is the smoke again… but now, I see it in every direction I look at. The houses are a wreck. Everything is a wreck.

_Dag! Dag! Dag!_ There is that sound again. I wonder where is it coming from. I started to walk towards its direction. The farther I go from where I have been, the louder the sound becomes. I stopped when I saw someone in front of me.

_I wonder if he is homeless or one of the victims here in this place. _

He just stood in front of me stiffly. I started a conversation, "Hey are you lost?" I waited for an answer, but he doesn't give me one_. I think he is speechless about what had happened here…_ So I tried to walk to him closer.

I felt weird. Something is not right here, so I stopped walking. It was just that time that I have realized that he was not inches away from me and the more I go near to him, his size… gets bigger. And it became clearer to me that he has been the one making those sounds.

_He is a giant… just, what is he?_ I asked myself.

As he gets bigger and bigger, I started to walk backwards. It was just when I thought of wanting to run, someone got a hold of me. I looked at my body… I am wrapped around something brown, something big…. _Something… frightening_. Is it a hand? But it's impossible to have a hand… this big.

_You have got to be kidding me._

I looked up. It's that guy I just saw earlier… _He is this big?!_ I tried to escape but he is holding me tight. I screamed.

"Get me out of here! Someone! Someone!" He placed me in front of his mouth and it opened wide. _He is… he is…_

I screamed. "Jean! Jean! H-Help!" He slowly closed his mouth. I breathed heavily when he placed me in front of his eye. _What is he trying to do? And what is this thing wrapped around my neck?_ It's something red…

"Mi… Mi… k—" He started. _Does he know me?_ But…

"M… Mik—" He seems troubled in talking.

"Please, who-whoever you are, get m-me d-down…" I begged him.

He tightens his grip as if he didn't hear me beg.

"M—Mika…" He continues. _What kind of human is he? Is he even…one? _

He placed me on his shoulder and he started walking while mumbling, _"Mika"_

_Where is he going to take me, I wonder? Maybe I can trust him, even just a little._

It took us several minutes when we got into a forest. I asked him, "What are we doing here…"

No answer. "Uh… okay." I sat quietly on his shoulders.

My heart pounded when he is about to go to the other few giants. There were 4, including him. One girl and the other 2 were boys. And the other one… I can't seem to identify its gender since it is hairy…all over.

"H-hey… just what are we doing here? What am _I_ doing here?" I started to panic.

I stood up on his shoulders, I looked below and I felt drowsy because of how far from the forest floor I am right now. I went near his ears and shouted, "Get me out of here! Now!"

I almost lost my balance when he screamed. _Oh no. Did I make him angry?_ I looked at his face and I noticed that there are tears shedding down from his eyes. He grabbed me again. This time, his grip was tighter than before, I can't breathe. His other hand held my head. And before I knew what had happened, I woke up.

* * *

I woke up, gasping some air. "Hey, come with me." I heard a voice. It was a guy's voice. I saw him walking before me. So I stood up from my bed and followed him, knowing that he was Eren.

As we went farther and farther from my house, I asked him, "What are we doing here in the forest?"

"Beware of traps here. You might not want to die, you know." He said. It was not the answer I am expecting.

"Hey, I asked why are we here?" He continued walking. I got irritated so I got his shoulder and I let him face me.

He stopped.

"Wait. You're not… you're not… Eren?" I stared at him, surprised.

"Tch. Who said I'm Jean?" He said.

I walked backwards away from him. "I'm going back now." I was about to run when he grabbed my arm. "Let go of me! I don't even know you!" He pulled me close to him and said, "Yes, you do. You even trusted me." I don't know what to say . I don't remember giving him my trust. And I just met him now.

He held out his hand, "Come, on. It's gonna be dark soon. You have to trust me, if you want to remember everything."

"Remember? Everything? What?" I asked him.

"You'll see. Just trust me."

I held his hand and we went further in the forest.

I wondered what time is it so I looked at my watch. To my surprise, I wasn't wearing my watch. I must have removed it, oh well. "Hey, do you know what time it is?" I asked the guy. He doesn't answer me. "Hello?" He removed his hands from mine and he went farther from me. I tried to catch up but he was too fast.

"So how am I supposed to trust you if you're like that?" I shouted for him to hear.

"Wait. Stay there first. I'll be back." He answered while advancing further.

I waited for him. I don't know for how long but I think its 15 minutes long already. I began thinking what he have said to me earlier.

"…_if you want to remember everything.", "…You even trusted me."_

_Is there something that I have forgotten? I met him only now… I'm sure of it. I don't remember being in a accident that may cause me an amnesia or something like that. I just bumped my head… that's all. It's impossible to have an amnesia if it's just a bump… is it?_

I left my thoughts when I heard someone. "Come on. Let's go now. Follow me." I followed the dark figure knowing that it was the guy earlier. _I should ask him his name_.

"Before I forget, what is your name?" He doesn't answer. He picks up his speed and I can't catch up.

"Can you go slower?... I can't seem to catch up…" I said, gasping for air.

I looked at him and he did what I asked him to do. "Thank you…" I want to ask him what he meant earlier.

"You might not understand even if I explained it to you." He said. _Huh?_

"Excuse me? What are you saying?" I asked, confused and hugged the thought that he might have possibly read my thoughts.

"Beware of traps, you might not want to die." He warns.

"Thanks…" I nodded.

We continued walking forward. "Just how far are we going?"

"You'll see." He said.

We both stayed quiet all throughout.

It was dark already and we still haven't reached where we were going. "Hello?" No one answers. I stopped walking. It was very quiet. I looked at the surroundings. He wasn't anywhere to be seen.

_Crack._ "Who's there?" I panicked. _Crack._ I started to walk backwards and I felt something pierced my back. I looked behind me. There was no one. I felt something wet on my back. I tried to look at my back but I lost my balance and fell on the forest floor. And again, something was pierced through me, and it's deeper.

I lost my consciousness.

_Why is it cold here…_ I opened my eyes. There is so much light…

…_and trees. _

* * *

_A/N: If you noticed, in the first chapter, she knew about Marco. And in this chapter, the guy said, "remember 'everything'." But basically, she knew about people who died years ago, as long as she gets in contact physically with that person, obviously in a dream. She'll know how did that person die. But, she will not be able to recollect a death correctly if the cause of death was a Titan. So to simplify, first, her memories about Titans are gone. And this explains the "dream she was having while she was dreaming." And second, have fun thinking about this one. :)_

_P.S: As usual, leave a review! ((sorry if this story lame or what, it's just my first time writing one))_


	6. Confrontation

I widened my eyes out of shock, and I sat up. I looked down and I touched the floor.

_What the hell am I doing… here in the forest?_ I felt my back aching very bad. I remembered what happened earlier… I looked at my back if there was a blood but there were no traces found. There's no wound either.

_But I have been stabbed… _I stood up. I sighed and I started walking despite my backache. I wondered what time it was so I took a glance at my watch. It's 8:09 am. _They must be looking… for me…_ I looked at my watch again. I remembered that I didn't wear it… earlier.

_But how…_ _What is happening to me… sigh. _I must return home soon and its good thing that I remember where I came from .

_I'll just deal with everything that has been happening to me later. _

An hour has passed when I already saw my house from a distance. _I got a little bit lost back there. Sigh._ I walked a bit faster towards our house. I spotted my mom waving at me. I started to jog. As I was getting nearer to my mom, tears started to build up. _Why does it have to be right now?_ I wiped back my tears. I smiled at her and I waved back.

I noticed that someone was behind her, as I was getting nearer, I bolted down my speed and I started to walk, catching my breath. It was Jean that was behind my mother. My heart pounded even faster when I remembered a part of our conversation last night.

* * *

***Last night

"Mikasa…" Jean said quite nervously.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Uh, I, I just want you to know about how I feel about you…" He averts his eyes, obviously avoiding my eyes.

I sit up straight. "Then look straight into my eyes and you tell me everything you want to tell me now."

He moves uncomfortably, and he became quiet. He looks cute when embarrassed. I silently laughed. He looked at me, "w-why are y-you laughing…" He asked me, embarrassed.

I smiled, "Nothing. You just look funny when you are quite… uncomfortable." There was silence once again. I started, "So…" He looked at me and he said, "Mikasa…"

I looked at him. "What is it?"

He answered, "I, uh, I like you… from the very first time that I saw you. And now that I am actually having dinner with you tonight… and now that I got to know you better…" He paused.

"I wanted to ask you if…" He paused again.

He continued, "…if you would like to go out with… m… my friend… now that I know you are greater than I thought you were and I think that you are good for him…" I dropped my jaw.

"…Pardon? Your friend?" I asked, completely shocked.

He nodded. "Well yeah… and I'm not even kidding." _I don't know what to say._

I said, frustrated. "What about you, Jean? You are too kind of a friend for being the one to ask me that instead of him."

"I-I said that he should be the one to go to you but he insisted that I should be the one to… yeah."

"I asked you. What about you, Jean?"

"M-me?"

"Do you want to go out with me?"

The atmosphere became more tense.

"Of—Of course.. but, my friend…he said…"

"What did he say?"

"He said… he liked you first than I did… so…"

"That's what he said? Well, then tell your friend that I would gladly _not_ go out with him and that I would especially go out with you. And I suggest that we should start watching movies before I go even more mad." He nodded. "Okay, then."

***End of last night

* * *

_The thing with his friend frustrates me though. But I would like to give it a shot, i think. Especially with Jean, I mean, he is a good guy and he is fun… _

What a confusing girl I am, indeed.

I hugged mom as soon as I started crying. _Why now… _"What is wrong, honey?" She asked me, kissing my forehead.

"You wouldn't understand. And I don't even think you would believe me even if I said it." I sniffed and wiped my nose with my sleeves. "No, honey. Tell me. I'll do my best to—"

I snapped. "I woke up in the middle of the forest even though I did not even snuck out of the house. I was stabbed at my back but there's no wound nor blood." There was complete and utter silence.

"That's impossible…" My mom said.

"See? You don't believe me!" Tears started to rushed down faster.

"What's the point of telling this to you if you don't even understand me? And you are saying that you will try your best to? Is that your best shot?" I shouted at her and I walked away and I shut myself inside my bedroom.

* * *

_Dag! Dag! Dag!_

"It's me. Jean. May I come in?" I didn't answer. He opened the door. "I haven't answered yet, you know?" He was about to close the door when I smiled and I said, "Don't take me too literally, you jerk. Come in." He came in and sat with me on the floor.

"You can always tell me what is in your mind right now." He said.

I looked at him. "I'm in love with someone… I'm sorry. I must have gotten your hopes high because of what I have said to you last night… I am horrible…"

"No you're not… so… who's the lucky guy?"

"Tch. Lucky, you say?"

"Of course. He is one lucky guy for you to fall for him. You are a great person."

I shook my head. "You truly don't know me yet, huh." I paused. "I am, one, horrible. Two, a jerk. Three, user. Fou—" I felt something on my forehead. In a matter of seconds, the feeling disappeared. Jean's face was close to mine. Our eyes locked. And in that moment, everything just doesn't matter, even time.

"What was that for?" I looked away.

"A proof that what kind of person you are, I'll still love you." He smiled. "So, tell me, who's that lucky guy?"

"It… it's actually embarrassing to say who…"

"It's fine hahaha!" He laughs.

"I'm—I'm in love with… my brother." His smile faded. "I, uh, I actually… thought of… going out with you… to forget my feelings towards him." I added.

There was a complete silence.

"It's okay…I'd do anything… for you to fall in love with me even if I know that it could hurt me. Mikasa…" He held my hand. "…if I failed in making you fall in love with me, there is always another time. And each time I fail, I'll eventually do better the next time around…"

I was surprised by how he said it. But… I don't think it would work out that way…

"Jean… I appreciate everything you have said… But please… I don't want you getting hurt. My feelings for my brother has started when we were kids… so it's hard…"

"How long your feelings for him doesn't matter—"

"It does, Jean. It does. And because of that, if we have our relationship… it wouldn't work out."

"It would if we tried."

"It won't! I know it won't because the problem is with me."

"Then I'll help you fix that problem, just like what I have said…"

"No… you don't understand…" Tears started to shed. "You are too good for me. You are too good to be treated that way. Your feelings are too deep and true that I don't deserve it if we make it work out the way you wanted it to be. You are letting me use you… and I don't deserve that kindness…"

"It isn't because I am kind. I let you use me because I love you!"

"Then I don't deserve your love." Tension rose up between us.

He said, "I… I don't want our friendship to end, you know…"

_Me too... _There was silence again.

He nodded. "Okay, then." He stood up and went outside, not saying goodbye.

_Why does this thing have to be complicated… I'm all messed up…_

* * *

A/N: Mikasa's last conversation with Jean in this chapter was supposed to be about the "dream" but then I decided to add a little bit of romance. But then... I got a hold of it so... sorry. _  
_

_Leave a review :)_


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